Tame
by lapsus calami
Summary: Remus, for the first time, roams the Forbidden Forest alone. He struggles against himself on something that could change the course of his life: the forgiving of Sirius Black. Can he overcome the feeling of being used for a petty trick against Snape?


Title: Tame

Summary: Remus, for the first time, roams the Forbidden Forest alone. He struggles against himself on something that could change the course of his life: the forgiving of Sirius Black. Can he overcome the feeling of being used for a petty trick against Snape, or will he persist against his oldest friend?

Note: This originally began as a role play introduction, but it began going far deeper than would be quite plausible. It really doesn't have much of an opening for any other characters to enter, obviously, so it is much better suited as fandom. Sorry for not writing much fic as of the last – long while, really. I'm sort of finished writing it, but I'll do it every once in a while in odd intervals. Thanks for putting up with me, for those of you who've been reading for a while.

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The brambles bit at his body, but he took no notice – had he been in his other form, the skin would have broke, surely, and blood would have streaked against his pale white back. However, as Remus Lupin could tell one, bitterly, smirking, he was not a human. Not at the moment.

Instead, some of the leaves stuck in his fur, and the nettles tangled with the dark grey hair that had – for lack of a better word – sprouted within moments, splitting the skin, causing an unimaginable agony. That was the initial, one true pain of his – disease? Ailment? The transformation.

Or so he had been warned. The anguishing pain was excruciating, yes; but Remus hated _being_. He actually hated his existence, every time he roamed the woods, once a month.

Remus bit at his foreleg impatiently, ignoring the impulse to seek out human flesh. His friends had tamed him; he was almost human, these days. If he could have, he probably would have sighed – there would be an angry gash on his arms the next day, and it would provoke unwanted questions. At the very least, there would be a long, unhappy looking scar tomorrow.

His friends. Another inward sigh. He needed a break from them – as much as he loved James, and Peter, and… Yes, he dared to think it, despite the consequences. Yes, he did miss Sirius, as well. He had been avoiding them, admittedly. James and Peter weren't even involved, but he did so just the same. It wasn't anyone's fault, really.

His ears gave a twitch. Something stirred in the dark thicket ahead. Remus sniffed. It was just a rabbit, actually. Not worth pursuit.

Usually, his three friends would join him that night – it was with their help that Remus had found a second exit, out of the Shrieking Shack, and… Into the Woods, so to speak. They would roam the Forbidden Forest, their own masters – James, a stag; Peter, a rat; Remus, this detestable form that he took on now; and Sirius, a massive dog.

For the first time since they had joined him as Animagi, Remus took this journey alone. He had not gone a single night without the other three, Remus realised. Since they came that first time, he had not once been alone throughout the pain; and they had made him human, during his of brutish, unconscious animalistic hours of inhumanity. If that even made sense.

Remus peered about from behind a wolf's eyes, at these familiar, yet alien surroundings. That root had never been passed without Wormtail's tripping over it; that bush looked different without Prongs leaping over it gracefully; that tree had never been ignored, as Remus laughed mockingly as Sirius stopped to mark his territory.

The wood had last known it's merry lords over two months ago. Agilely, the werewolf stalked further into the forest than he had ever been before. The last full moon, the act of betrayal had taken place. Remus did not leave the Shrieking Shack that night.

The full moon before that, Remus struggled to remember, was like any other. It was not unusual, in any way. There was no clue as to the following month's disloyalty. It was _exactly_ like any other.

Moony gazed slightly upwards, only just making out a pinkish orange tinge on the horizon through the snarled branches overhead. The night had ended; he had made it through the night. Deciding not to dwell on anything any longer, Remus wandered slowly back towards Hogsmeade. Best to leave it until he woke in the Hospital Wing.


End file.
